Understanding

Yesterday I set myself the task of performing Keecho Hyung Il Bu in "mirror mode". I am happy to say that I was successful. I had to stop and actually THINK about what I was doing, but I was able to do the entire form without too many mistakes. It wasn't as hard as I made it out to be in my mind. I just have to build up and do the rest of the forms that way and I think I'll understand them a bit better. It's all working up to doing the forms better.

Today I may go outside and actually work on forms out there. I still haven't done an outdoors class. It will be good. When you work outdoors, you have different terrain to work on. It's not all the smooth surfaces we're used to inside. It will be uneven surfaces, rocks, etc. The point of it is to get used to having different surfaces and to step outside of our "comfort zone".

Speaking of "comfort zones", I read in a magazine last night that a "comfort zone" is just a way of opting out of moving onward. It's a way of saying, "I'm not going to go any further--I'm satisfied with the way things are". Well, I am NOT going to stay stationery and inflexible. I will get myself out of my comfort zone and into the unknown. Once I move past the mindset of "I'm okay where I am", the challenges will present themselves to be slightly easier, I think.

I don't know yet if I'll be able to get back into classes next month, but even if I don't, I'm at least getting back into practicing and learning. I've got my books, I have my notebook and my friends who have kindly offered to help keep me on track. I'm going to go back with a better attitude. I'm not going to go to class with the attitude of "I'm going to test for a belt". That's the wrong attitude to have. I'm going to go in with the attitude of "I'm here to learn." It's all about learning. If you stop learning, you'll stagnate. I'm not going to be stagnant. I'm going to move ahead and learn the right way. I'm not going to put my focus on only one thing. There are too many things to learn to make myself a better martial artist. If I focus on just the short term goal, I'll miss the long term. I'll miss the entire point of taking martial arts.
When I first joined martial arts, I went in with no idea of what I'd be getting into. I wasn't sure if I was going to like it or not. I went with the express intention of becoming more physically fit. Somewhere along the line, it moved into a love for the sport. I enjoy the classes. I enjoy the challenges presented to me by the instructors. No, I'm not a good jumper. I totally hate falling. I hate rolling too. I know that they're integral to the sport, so I learn them. When I step onto that training floor, I find myself in a different frame of mind. Somehow, after a long day at work, I'm able to get myself to focus on the here and now. I need that.

I'm going to make sure that the here and now is what I continue to focus on. If I had stayed at my old school, I would be testing in March or September of '09 for second dan. I am not ready. I have much to learn before I am ready to test. You cannot teach if you do not learn. You cannot understand if you do not learn. I am determined to understand. If it takes me another 3-4 years to earn my second dan, so be it. I think it's finally sunk in that I'm in this for the long haul.