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After all the whining and moaning about how I had "forgotten" my forms, I wound up showing Master F my version of Bassai on Tuesday. I had an ear to ear grin on my face when I finished. I need to put myself into my own little world and just focus on me and not anyone else. If I don't, I will continue to mess up the forms. Another thing I need to remember is to relax. That will do wonders for my forms.
I feel like I've been re-earning my belts, if that makes sense. Being a Dan is not an isolated experience at BTK. You're part of a greater whole. If you need help, all you have to do is to ask and someone will help you. There is always room for improvement in anything you do. I've been trying to get my forms "fixed". I wasn't doing them wrong, just differently. Different schools have different styles. It's not "my school is right, yours is wrong."
One thing to work on is my push up requirement and my crunch requirement. We did pushups in class on Thursday. I HURT! My arms are so sore, it's not even funny! I gave myself two days off, but am going to attempt to do pushups today. I have to get my requirement in. I have to run too. I don't mind putting my running requirement on my blog...it's a mile in 10:30. My son, who is 9, has the same time requirement as me. Now if I could just get him to actually RUN around the track and not just goof off and try to roll around on the infield.
I've been doing some exercise with my Wii in an effort to work on muscle strength and toning. It's the EA Sports Active...there's a 30 Day Challenge on it. I hit 14 out of 20 workouts today. 6 more to go. There are a lot of lunges in it, which I think helps some. I hate the running part of it. If I was in a bottom floor apartment, I wouldn't have as many issues with it, but...oh well, I'm still doing it. Real life running is next on my list.
As many of you know, I left my old martial arts school in July of 2008. I wasn't happy and had a few issues that couldn't be resolved, so I left. I had a lot of angst about it and spent a lot of time agonizing over "did I make the right decision?" My former instructor tried a few times to communicate with me and I took the cowardly way out--I either let the calls go to voicemail or I didn't return calls when I said I would.
I have since moved forward and have found a new school. I am happy with that school--it was a good change for me, I believe. I do not regret my decision. It was something that was needed. I am learning my forms and am learning to ask "WHY" about the technique and the forms. It's a new challenge to me as I have to learn Korean, bunkai, Bushido Codes and other things. In many ways, I feel like I've started over again and am back at white belt, only I know the forms. I have much tweaking and adjustments to be made or I won't be able to get myself up to speed.
Yesterday I went over to a friend's house and talked about a lot of things martial arts related. We talked about Bunkai and we talked about language. We also talked about our Ho Sin Sul and one steps. I got a chance to review four of the Ho Sin Sul I would need to know as a white belt. It was a very productive afternoon for me. We talked about performing the forms in various ways--forward or "left" (because you learn it to the left), 'right hand' (opposite of how you initially learn it), "backwards to the left" and "backwards right handed".
We talked about setting goals...if you set the goal of performing a form a day, in all four ways, you'll actually learn the forms very well. It's a good thing to work on and it's something that I'm thinking will be beneficial for me.
Another thing--since I'm sidelined again this month (grrr!!), I'm going to talk to the trainer my apartment complex offers "for free". I'm going to get with him on Tuesdays and Thursdays this month and see about getting beaten into shape that way. I need the exercise and working with a trainer will be a good way to get myself back on track. I'll make sure I tell the trainer that I'm a martial artist so that he can help me focus on things I need. Upper body strength, lower body strength, cardio, etc. I truly want to get into excellent shape. Tomorrow I'm going to start my weekend out by walking a 5k. I may take the entire family with me but if they're not interested in going with me, I'll go alone. I plan on doing this every weekend. I am also going to start walking at work again. That'll be a mile a day (the route I walk is 1.9 miles round trip.). It's just a short term goal to getting healthier and happier.
I plan to return to BTK. I will have to wait until it's feasible but I WILL be there. I told my friend yesterday that when I come back, I plan on being there with the attitude of "I can do it." I WILL do it. I'm going in with the plan of being there, learning and learning well.
Now I need to go get my notebook out and practice those Ho Sin Sul we worked on yesterday. I'm going to do them every day until I get them ingrained in my head. I may show them to my friend DB tomorrow, just to show him "this is what I can do."
I think I need to learn NOT to walk when I'm angry. It is beneficial, yes, but at the same time, it *hurts* because I don't temper my stride. I have a tendency to literally pound the pavement. As a result, I do injury to myself.
Case in point...I was so stressed out yesterday that when I went walking, I walked with a hard stride. Not necessarily a good stride. I know it wasn't fast. It was just hard. My right foot now feels like it's "locked up". The instep is painful and stiff. Not what I want, especially since I want to go walking again. I have set myself a goal (almost typed "goad"!) of at least 3 miles a week, walking.
I may skip the walk today. I'm not sure. I haven't made my plans yet. I don't go to lunch until 11:30 and it's 10:15 now. If I go, I have to get out to my car and get my things.
When I walked yesterday, I met two ladies who were out running. I'm assuming they have a route planned out. They ran past me as I was heading out, then I met them coming back...and they ran past me at a fast walk! That's when I felt like I was too slow. I tried to speed up to keep up with them and wasn't able to. They're in *much* better shape than I am and it showed.
I really need to stop comparing myself to other people, but I really have a hard time stopping myself from doing it. It's like comparing apples to oranges. Both are fruit, both can be sweet, but that's where the resemblance ends. One's got a rough outer skin, one's edible from the get-go. It's the same with people. No two people are alike. I know this but haven't managed to keep it in my head. It's the same with martial arts. I know that I'm not expected to keep up with the people who are higher ranked than me. They may have a different outlook on training, etc. I shouldn't look at what they're doing and say "I have to keep up with xyz..." It just isn't going to be possible!! I am me. I'm not in superb shape. I am coming off a long (7 month) hiatus where I haven't done much.
(This is changing, I'm not just sitting here bitching about it!)
I didn't do any push ups yesterday, so today is a bonus day--I get to do *4* of them! Hooray! I'm going to see if my son wants to do push ups with me. That way it'll be something we can do together. I need to do some crunches too to start working my abs. If I can find where hubby hid my bo, I'll be able to get it out and use it for ab work. I found an exercise on Shape.com that is a good abs-shaper. It uses either a broom handle or something along those lines. You hold it at shoulder level with your arms up across the back of it (think an old picture of a "milk maid" or something like that). Then you perform a trunk twist. The most effective way to do this is to sit down and twist. You can use a towel while you're sitting on the floor and you can do this while you're watching television if you're a television sort of person. I may have to start doing this on my nights that I'm off from karate. It'll help build up my obliques and abs and maybe, just MAYBE, I'll wind up with a shape other than round!!
