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"The best laid plans of mice and men..." have gone astray here. I had every intention of getting off my rear and working out every morning, despite loaning my Wii out to a friend. Did that work? No. So much for my public accountability, right??? I fell flat for 3 days. Oh well. If you fall down, get up, brush yourself off and get back to what you were doing.
So. My plan is this: I'm going to the track tomorrow morning. It's the first of the month, first workout of the month. I'm going to start trying to run. No more of this "I hate running" thing I've had going. NO MORE telling myself "I'm allergic to running." All that does is perpetuates the negativity about the act itself. If you tell yourself something often enough, you internalize it and that's the last thing I need. What I NEED to tell myself is "I can run that mile in ten minutes."
Now that I've let it slip, may as well come straight out. As an adult of "advancing years" (44), I need to aim to run a mile within ten minutes, thirty seconds. I am overweight by a good 100 pounds too, but I WILL get to that ten minute mark!! It'll be good for me to get out and run.
I read Ms. M's black belt test account today and my first thought was, "HOLY!!!
That's a tough test!!" I've only participated in two tests, but man! She's in excellent condition and from what her test sounded like, it was brutal! She had to be completely wiped out by the end of it.
I told her the other night that I want to be her when I grow up. I really want to get into better shape physically because it'll make me feel better mentally.
Part of being a black belt is attitude. If you don't have a good attitude, you won't be a good black belt. You have to be mentally fit as well as physically fit.
I'm determined that by the time I make Ee Dan, I'll have truly earned it. I don't want to have my achievements held up to me as "you're my success story. I took a (fill in the blanks) person and made her into a black belt." Unfortunately, that was how my Cho Dan was presented to me in May. I wasn't given credit for working my butt off to earn it. I was told that I'm only a success story.
Well, guess what? I am NOT just that "fat person who is a black belt". I am in a league of elite martial artsts. I will reach that bar that has been set for me by the Ee Dans, Sam Dans, Sa Dans and Oh Dans. I will make it. I may fall into a small heap as I reach for it, but I will make it. Just need to work on my mental fitness. I need to be able to fail and learn from that failure.
There's a lot to be said for the people who undertake tests like Ms. M's. It shows just exactly how hard you have to work. It's not a "gimme". Anyone who thinks a belt test is that should really go read her blog. I have nothing but intense admiration for her.
