I started back into martial arts after speaking with my instructor at the picnic earlier this month. He told me to get myself into class, which I did. I've had a few minor details that have kept me out of attending classes twice a week for the past few weeks (prior commitments) but as of this month, I will be there for two classes a week
I've had to lead the class commands, which is, in and of itself, a somewhat daunting task at times. If red belts can do it, then I know that I too can do it. I do find myself feeling much like a deer in the headlights, afraid to move. I know that's a minor thing and I need to work past it. I shall. I just need to practice. I also need to practice my forms, plus my techniques. I have to learn the names of the techniques in Korean. I have to know them now is as good a time as any to learn. I feel really good that Master M explained the one steps we were supposed to be doing on Thursday in English in addition to giving the Korean commands for them. I just need to commit them to memory as it's an important thing to know. I learned much by attending the Dan test on October 24th. It was an eye opener. The test is strictly by invitation only, so I'm "safe". Nobody is going to invite me to test. I'm actually relieved. I don't have the fitness requirement to pass, nor am I ready with my second Dan form. I have issues with the forms I'm already supposed to know. The problem is not that I don't know the forms. The problem is, I learned them a different way. I didn't learn the bunkai of the forms. I didn't learn WHY you do something. I just learned to do it by rote. In this school, it's a requirement to know the form forwards, backwards, sideways and then some. You have to be able to perform a form blindfolded and on a hill if they require it. You have to know how to start from a specific technique and finish a form, then explain WHAT you're doing.
In other words, I have to re-start my learning. I just happen to be ahead of the curve as I know the technique. I just don't know how to speak the language and I don't have the fitness yet. I may never advance. I just know that I HAVE to do something.