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I seem to be finding myself in a rut. I'm having an issue finding my motivation and sticking to it. Mentally, I know I need to work out in order to be healthy, but it feels like extreme torture at times. I have a hard time pushing myself to workout on my own. I tried working out with my family, but that didn't pan out because they weren't interested or found fault with the way I was walking/running.
I need to make up my mind and get with the program. I'm either going to commit myself to becoming healthier, or I'm going to settle for being un-fit and unhealthy.
Only I can make that decision, nobody else.
Unfortunately, I do have a tendency to lose my focus. I'll have focus as long as I see a goal in sight, but if I don't have an actual goal that I know I can work for, I seem to allow myself to slack off. My training is virtually non-existent. That is something that I know I need to work on.
So what I'm working on is getting more motivation. I need to find what works for me and use it to my advantage. What I think I need to do is to sit down with someone and give them my goals. Then I need to get serious and do something. It doesn't have to be much, as long as it's some form of activity that is related to what I want/need to do to get myself fitter.
I'm a whiner. I have been whining and wailing and lamenting my weight gain, my lack of training, etc. I am tired of whining. I've talked to two people I greatly respect and am going to get off my rear and do something about it. I was talking to one friend about being bummed that I wasn't where I thought I should be. We've already established that I'm not ready to test for any sort of a belt. I am going to have to stop comparing myself to people I know who are testing or who have tested. They're at different levels of fitness than I am. I have to get myself into some semblence of shape and strengthen myself up and THEN I'll get to the point where I can go up before the heads of our school and if they think I'm good enough, they'll pre-test me. Instead of setting a date for that, I'm going to let the chips fall as they will.
I have set a new goal. I'm going to set myself the goal of getting fitter and healthier. I'm going to get myself into better shape by my birthday. A short-term goal is in order too, and I'm writing it down now. I plan on attending at least 11 classes by April. I say 11 because I have to attend meetings for Cub Scouts and they take place on the first Thursday of the month and the third or last Tuesday of the month. Cubs will be at a down-swing by May and I WILL be making more classes by then. I am a den leader, which my instructor knows. It's my responsibility to get the notes from class from people in class. It's my responsibility to train when I'm not in class. Obviously I am NOT doing that very well (not if I've gained 20 pounds, but that'll be changing soon!).
My first, very short term goal is February 17. I am going to walk into class and I'm going to participate in that class. On February 19th, I will walk into my second class and I will participate. I will most likely leave both of those classes wringing wet, tired and feeling either elated or discouraged. I can't let myself get discouraged by it. I know that I have to work harder than ever because I've gotten soft and "saggy". I have a LOT of re-conditioning to do.
I need to start today.
I need to refresh my memory on the goals I set myself. This is one from January, 2008. I just copied and pasted it here to make sure I have it documented. I have several more blogs I can post...I'll be keeping the martial arts posts. Those are important to me.
January, 2008:
I am going to set myself some goals. I have issues with keeping myself on track with water, so one of my goals is to drink no less than 48 ounces of water in a normal day. Yesterday, I've made that goal and have had 50 ounces of water. Not too bad. Not great though. I'll work on it. That's one goal.
Another goal is to practice my forms daily. I need to make sure that I am doing everything correctly. Monday I actually ran through Nahainchi Cho Dan and Sip Soo. Tuesday I only worked on technique, but it WAS a practice. I practiced high knife hands, cat stance and moving forward in a cat stance. That's a new "game" I've created for the kids called "Ninja walk". You get into a cat stance, where you've created an 'L' with your feet--you put all of your weight on your back foot and have just the toes of your front foot or the ball of your front foot on the floor. The point of it is to be able to spring forward to pursue an attack if needed. If you turn your front foot, almost into a ballet stance, then ROLL as you shift your weight from the back foot to the front foot. This puts you into the correct position to perform a middle chop or something along those lines.
It's another technique that requires exact form. I *finally* have the "ninja walk" down!!
So, Tuesday I only worked on technique, but today, to escape the frustration of the people I work with (very stressful, that group!), I'm going to work on Bassai and then work my way back. I need to practice Oh Dan, Sam Dan, Sa Dan (and do Sam Dan correctly!), then Ee Dan and go backwards to Pyung Ahn Cho Dan, etc. I also need to practice Bong Hyung Il Bu at some point. I'll work on that away from work, but it will get practiced.
I'm challenging myself to do new things. I did two 'guy' push ups this morning. Not a lot, but it was a start. I usually do pushups on my knees, so the 'guy' push ups I did is a good thing. I have a tendency to "sink" down in the middle and lead with my belly, so that's something to work on. Proper form is everything. It makes a difference, not only in push ups, but in kicks, punches, etc.
I have a book from BTK that gives my requirements for fitness for my next test. Now that I'm serious about it, here's what I have to look forward to:
Crunches, push ups, kicking and run/jog: all need to be done at the pre-test AND the test.
As a 43 year old woman, at the rank of black belt, I must be able to do 38 'right angle' push ups. I'd like to have this accomplished by December. I do my push ups on my knees, but by March, I want to do them all in the proper form...hence the "guy" push up goal.
Crunches: My requirement is 34. The requirement for men in the same age group as me is 42, so I think I'm going to push for somewhere in between.
Kicks: I have to be able to perform a turning hook kick and a hop hook kick three times on each leg at a HIGH level. I'm sure that I'll also have to do a turning side kick plus a jumping round kick. High level means that I should be able to kick at a range from the shoulders to the top of the head. (need to get the excess fat off because I can't kick if I'm fighting myself to get the foot up!)
Run/Jog: For my age and rank, I have to run a mile in 10 minutes. I'm working on that now. Ten minutes? Yep...I'll work on it. I SHOULD be able to accomplish that by March.
I've got a few other ideas in mind, such as creating a training log. I don't know how many of my instructors read my blog, but I think that setting these goals is an acceptable one. From a fitness standpoint, the fitter I am, the happier I am and the better I perform.
