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9 push ups today. No crunches. I did spar at the dojang today for about a minute. I was part of a two on one sparring with a young lady testing for her first gup. That was fun! I had to be cautious because I wasn't wearing sparring gear. I had it with me, just wasn't wearing it. I take it as a compliment to my self control that they let me spar without it. (even better note, after watching the kids in the gup tests spar...I wasn't leaning in toward my opponent as I was sparring her!)
I'm exhausted. Running on fumes, literally. I know it affects my thinking and it also affects my response times. I got up at 3:15 am yesterday. I didn't get back to sleep, so I stayed up until after the kids were off at school. Tried to sleep, didn't work out. Went out and had lunch with a friend, chatted and enjoyed myself. Got to bed too late and up at 1:15 am to get oldest child from school. (She was away on a band trip.) I got up at 8:00 am after going back to bed at 2:30 this morning, so I picked up a couple of hours of sleep. I still feel like my response times are off. I'll see what happens tomorrow when I drag the hubby and a kicking shield outside. I'm going to start working on kicks now. I watched the tests today and figured out a few things to improve in my own workouts.
Five push ups tonight. 7 crunches. I probably could have done MORE crunches, but I wasn't about to risk good form. I found myself sagging on the push ups. I have to remember that a push up still requires good form. I'm not beating myself up, but I know that there's room for improvement. I have to work on my core strength. To that extent, I think I may put in some more isolation exercises tonight. When I belly danced, years ago, I was able to isolate certain muscles. I still have some control over various muscles, so I may go ahead and start working on that more. I should also look up some exercises for abs, plus lift some weights.
I have plans. Lots of plans. I will implement them a little at a time.
I might just add crunches to the mix tonight, when I do my push ups. I was talking to my daughter and told her that if I work hard at it, I can build up to 100 push ups in 100 days. That's a reasonable goal, I think. I know I'm feeling MUCH better about myself just for having completed 4 push ups that I can't imagine that I'll be less happy with completing 100!! I like that thought.
If I'm 100 percent honest about how many crunches I can do REALLY well, I think I'm starting small and saying *maybe* ten. If I can push out ten crunches tonight and then add one a day, I'll be up to my number in no time. That's worth a happy thought for me!!!
Push ups.I skipped my push ups yesterday, so I made up for it tonight. 4 push ups. I'm on schedule. Tomorrow should be 5. I've actually been listening to people!! I can't say anything negative about the push ups. I do have to say that *I* think they were okay. I did them and that's the important thing. One small step at a time.
A new friend I've been talking to has recommended that I write out my goals, not just in the blog, but in a notebook, so I may suddenly sprout a notebook. It won't be any different from when I was following Weight Watchers. In fact, as long as I'm using notebooks for things, I'll just start out with a 3-subject notebook and do some goal setting in it...that way I have short term, medium term and long term goals all in one place.
I was thinking about forms this morning after dropping my daughter off at the track for band practice. I have decided that I am going to start working on Nahainchi Ee Dan, at least the very beginning of the form. I have seen it, at my old school, and was supposed to be learning it before I left. Master P told me that I needed to start learning it a month ago, so I think I'm going to get off my rear and start. I know the first four movements, I think. I have resources. My friend, S, knows it and can show me what I might need, plus, if I ask nicely, another friend, DB, knows it and IF we can ever get together, he could show me things too. I'd love to go back into class knowing this form. It would do wonders for my feeling toward myself. I'm also going to go back and practice a form that I know that maybe I'm not SUPPOSED to know yet (Sip Soo). I haven't done that one in a year or more. I still have it simmering in the recesses of my brain. It'll help me to keep active if I work on the forms I am supposed to know, to firm them up. I don't want to show up and have to demonstrate something and freeze. That's one of my biggest fears.
Small steps. I did two *really good* push ups tonight. My son counted for me.
I started with just two because my friend, S, told me that if I add just one a day, I'll build up my strength and can improve my numbers. Therefore, I started out with two really good push ups. That was a start. I'm not allowed to say anything negative about myself and my push ups, so I am instead, going to pat myself on the back and cheer. I did it! It was "one small push up for me, one giant push up for my goals." Okay, so that's badly paraphrasing, but it's a start.
I'm NOT complaining.
Not much is going on with my training these days. I've been working (a lot), doing Band related things (eldest is in Marching Band now) and of course, Cub Scouts. Did I mention that I'm neglecting my own training?
I haven't really thought of why, I just haven't shown much initiative. I know I need to work out. I just haven't.
I was talking to a friend this afternoon and we decided that I've got to get off my duff and at the very least, do my crunches and push ups. I am highly below average at both of those. I need to get with the program, to work harder and push myself to get to the "average" rating. I am going to aim for at least 5 push ups a day to start, then work on building on that. The number I need to get to is a multiple of 9. (note: I'm NOT going to do 9 right out of the box! I need to get the arms strengthened first...but soon I shall be doing my number.) Same with crunches. Those, I can do probably about 20, if I'm honest with myself. Do I do them correctly? Nope...but I do 20 crunches. I'm going to work on improving those too. That number is a multiple of 8. If you email me, I'll tell you the numbers. Otherwise, cryptic it is.
I talked to a friend last week about some goals that I had. He said to put them down, but that setting a goal of "to lose weight" was not an option. I had to be specific. He wasn't being ugly, he wanted me to actually THINK about what I want. Believe me when I say, that was a difficult thing to think about and even more difficult to do. I'm still working on revamping those goals, but I do have them out there to look at.
Goals:
1. To be able to run a mile by December.
My friend reminded me that trying to set a short term goal of 4 months might be a tad bit unreasonable, especially as I've had issues with keeping on task in the future. His recommendation was to strive for a six month time frame. Then he told me, "Leave the stopwatch at home. Don't even look at it for now."
This takes the stress off having to run. He said not to focus on the fact that I'm not a gazelle, but that I'm an average woman who is just starting out on a new fitness path.
2. To learn the forms correctly, to perform up to the standards I see everyone else performing at.
THIS is a most realistic goal. Practice makes perfect. 'Nuff said.
3. To make time for myself.
This is an attainable goal. Even if I can't go to martial arts every week, I should be able to go home from work, go into a quiet room and just BE for a few. It's highly recommended, as a matter of fact. It'll help me keep from panicking about things. I can just let it all slip away, like water over a rock.
So these are some things I can work on. My friend in Houston is giving me encouragement on his end. My Masters here are giving me encouragement. They know I have other things going and I'm not getting docked for not attending classes. I can work through the temporary sidelining and come out on the other end ahead of the game.
I seem to be finding myself in a rut. I'm having an issue finding my motivation and sticking to it. Mentally, I know I need to work out in order to be healthy, but it feels like extreme torture at times. I have a hard time pushing myself to workout on my own. I tried working out with my family, but that didn't pan out because they weren't interested or found fault with the way I was walking/running.
I need to make up my mind and get with the program. I'm either going to commit myself to becoming healthier, or I'm going to settle for being un-fit and unhealthy.
Only I can make that decision, nobody else.
Unfortunately, I do have a tendency to lose my focus. I'll have focus as long as I see a goal in sight, but if I don't have an actual goal that I know I can work for, I seem to allow myself to slack off. My training is virtually non-existent. That is something that I know I need to work on.
So what I'm working on is getting more motivation. I need to find what works for me and use it to my advantage. What I think I need to do is to sit down with someone and give them my goals. Then I need to get serious and do something. It doesn't have to be much, as long as it's some form of activity that is related to what I want/need to do to get myself fitter.
I must have mis-timed myself yesterday. I went out and walked the track at the high school again today. Today's time was 19 minutes, 21 seconds. I didn't take my son with me today, so that might have something to do with it. I also worked on my breathing. I walked most of that first lap fairly slowly, but then started walking faster by the last end of the track. My husband was with me and all I heard was "goodbye" as I pulled away from him. I wasn't out to race him, I was out to walk. I didn't have my MP3 player with me, so I wasn't regulating my steps to music. I was just out to walk. I did work on my breathing. I tried to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth as I was walking. It seemed to be the thing to do. That is something I can do on a regular basis. You THINK you know how to breathe, but sometimes it turns out, you don't really know.
Anyway, I feel successful, so I'll be working on maintaining this time at the recommendation of a couple of friends. As long as I hold this pace for the next few weeks, I'll be in good shape. I can then strive to decrease the time by a minute or two. By the end of the month, I should be walking a mile in 17 minutes. By the end of September, I can aim for 15 minutes and by the end of October, I can aim for 13 minutes. My goal will be to strengthen myself to the point where I'm shaving off a few minutes every two weeks. I think it's a reachable goal.
Well, I actually did it this morning. I got up and went out to the track with my husband and son. Four laps is a mile on this track, so that's what I went for. I'm seriously disappointed by my performance. I made my mile in 25 minutes. I was aiming for at least 15, knowing that I haven't run recently. I wasn't expecting the slow result. Here's what I did:
Lap #1. Walked. It was a slow walk until almost at the second end of the track, when I tried to speed up my walk.
Laps #2, 3 and 4. These were walk/run laps. I walked all the way around the end of the track and ran the back straightaway. I stopped when I got to the other end of the track and walked, then ran the front straightaway.
I noticed that I was severely huffing and puffing by the end of the run cycle. That is NOT good, so I asked a friend, who is a runner about it. She said that I was breathing too shallowly, which meant I was not inflating my lungs fully and caused me to fatigue and run more slowly. I asked for a way to train myself to breathe better and she gave me some pointers, so I'll work on that.
I'm probably going back out tomorrow, sans youngest child. I didn't feel that he was much help to me. I spent a lot of time trying to get him to walk faster, to actually RUN and try to keep me going. He's not interested at this point, so I'm leaving him out of MY training. I'll do my best to help him, but until he realizes that he won't be testing for any tests if he can't run a mile, there's not a lot I can do for him.
I'm treating this like a test preparation. I am not testing, but I may as well get serious enough to treat it like it is. This will help me focus and get myself to that "place" I need to be in order to work hard and see results.
