Fears

Training consisted of my two push ups and a walk. I felt really good about it. When I got in, I felt like I had just accomplished a lot. Granted, that walk wasn't the fastest thing, but it was a welcome change from sitting on the couch, doing nothing. I enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment after the walk. I wasn't walking for speed, but just for enjoyment. If I do this, plus eat right and drink plenty of water, I'll be able to lose some weight.

I emailed my best friend and told him I was in panic mode. He hasn't answered me back about getting together for coffee yet, but he knows why I'm panicking. I've talked a little bit to my hubby, but he doesn't quite 'get' it. He knows I'm worried about my weight, but he's not a martial artist, so he doesn't understand the pressure I'm feeling. I wanted to talk to my friend to hash out some thoughts. I don't know if Master G reads my blogs (I know some of the other people at the dojang *might* read them), but I have to sit down and talk to someone about my concerns and fears. Fear is natural. If you're without fear, you're either very confident of your abilities (ha, not me!) or just faking it very well. Me? I am so scared, it's not funny. I have a lot of work to do to 'tweak' my forms. I have to learn a whole new range of one steps. I have to learn bunkai. I have to learn Korean. There's a whole new set of things to learn.
I have to learn to keep a training log that is cohesive and makes sense.